Just kind of felt like listing random shit about myself, since this is my blog and I’m vain. Wanted to kind of get it out of my system, so there’s some pretty personal stuff here. I don’t mind sharing it (I am posting it after all) but please refrain from reblogging. Also, totally skip over this if you want to, please. Never feel obligated to read my crap!
~ I don’t drive; I always take the bus or my bicycle. I used to get a lot of shit for this, but waaay less here in WA than anywhere else I’ve lived.
~ My toenails are always painted, even though I never, ever wear open-toe shoes. They’re usually some shade of pink because I get a lot of it for really cheap at a local thrift store that sells gently used bottles of it.
~ It doesn’t show up in most of my pics, so most folks on here don’t know it, but I have really awful acne. It’s what I’m most self-concious of, and I wear cover-up most of the time to hide it.
~ I’ve considered doing porn on and off for a long time but I always come to the conclusion that I’m too ugly to justify making anyone pay for anything. Unless there is a niche kink for back acne that I’ve never heard of.
~ My dream job is to work with animals in some capacity, wild or domestic. I’ve done years of volunteer work in the field, and it’s been the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. If not that, then working in a museum would be my second career choice.
~ I’ve lived in a lot of different places around the US but at this point I wouldn’t want to be anywhere besides the West Coast unless it’s just a visit.
Okay, random-ass confession about to take place here. Enter at your own risk. You have been warned. There will be no refunds.
As plenty of folks who follow me probably already know (if not from chats then from the type of pictures I reblog so often) I have a huge fixation on gore/death/decay/etc. Until I was about 5 years old, creepy, dead shit scared the fuck out of me. I mean, I couldn’t even watch Nightmare Before Christmas without crying because of how dark it all was! But when I was little I was given a book on how the process of mummification in ancient Egypt worked (funny, considering mummies were among the worst of my fears.) After that, death and the dead turned from fear into full-on obsession. Something after reading that changed and I’m still not sure exactly what it was.
Since I never act on the death fixation (unless you count the road kill stuff, which is seriously harmless) I rarely worry about it these days. It used to freak me out a little bit, and I’d sort of try to “quit” from time to time, like I’d try not to be so “into” gore and such. It wasn’t out of ethical judgment on myself or guilt, since I never even dreamed of really hurting anything/anyone, but more of a “oh, this isn’t normal so I’d better cut it out” line of thinking.
But something, usually movie or television scenes with gore, or even violent song lyrics, always brought me right back in. I remember any scene in Reservoir Dogs with Tim Roth’s character bleeding all over the place was super exciting! And holy shit, don’t get me started on horror movies. House of 1000 Corpses is still a gold mine of rockin’ scenes. Also, I’m always happy to know enough German to understand Rammstein lyrics (Mein Teil just…it broke my brain the first time I listened to it!) I find myself fantasizing about being killed like the victims in those movies, shows, songs, and such.
So yeah, just felt like saying that. Nothing guilty or anything, if you can even consider this a confession, really. I more just wanted to share if anyone cared, and I was a little bit curious if anyone else shared these sort of feelings. It’s not sexual for me, and it’s not a fetish, just a really strong fixation that makes me feel like I’m on a roller coaster when I see it! Anyone else feel this way?
tintenfischie 
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